Decoding Men and Texts: What Does His Text Mean?

by Arlyn Crabtree

Texting is considered one of the most impersonal modern modes of communication and determining the meaning of guys' text messages, or a lack thereof, often seems like a mission impossible. So we went straight to the source and asked guys about their texting habits.

1. "Come over, if you want."
Girls are always left wondering what in the world the infamous "if you want" implies at the end of an invite. Guys said it means just that: you can come over, if you want. They explained that it's a legitimate invite, but the "if you want" probably indicates that there is nothing really special going on. Perhaps he's just hanging out with his roommates or doing his own thing; you're welcome to go over, but the plans won't necessarily be catered around you.

2. Why doesn't my boyfriend text first?
Most guys say they don't always text first because they do not want to seem overbearing. They also don't feel like texting all day is necessary. Guys, even when they love you unconditionally, need their space. Not texting you first is sometimes a symbol of "I need my me time."

3. Why does he take so long to respond?
Girls, we know how frustrating it can be when your boyfriend or crush takes an hour to respond to a text. Your mind wonders: "Did I say something wrong?" "Does he not want to talk to me anymore?" Truth is, it's not you, it's him. Guys can be very easily distracted. They sit their phone down, get into a video game and simply forget.

4. Are text after midnight booty calls?
According to guys, YES. If a guy you've been "talking" to texts you after midnight: "Hey. What's up?" "Where are you?" "We need to hang out," he is looking for some action. If that is not what you are interested in, then the best thing to do is NOT REPLY. By giving in too early, you run the risk of indefinitely being placed in that post-bar, late night category!

5. Sometimes I feel like I'm texting a brick wall. Why doesn't he contribute more to the conversation?
If your boyfriend or crush always replies with simple one-word answers, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk; it means he's "text shy." Some guys just aren't texters. They can be great conversationalists in person, but texting is a different ballpark and they can't play the game. Don't compare your texting habits to other couples, just appreciate the fact that you're able to communicate by talking on the phone, the old-fashioned way!

6. Why does my boyfriend text me about important things instead of coming over or calling?
Sometimes guys use texting as an alternative to having a real serious conversation. They say it's because they can better filter themselves typing out what they need to say. It can drive a girlfriend mad, but we have to understand that guys think much differently than girls do. Communication is sometimes much more complicated for them, so writing how they feel is easier than saying it out loud.